house 2014

I recently set up social media accounts for my blog, Instagram & Twitter, and had to provide a short description of my blog. I went with Lifestyle + Beauty, which is not entirely accurate but I guess its close enough. This blog is a simplified version of whats going on in my head, and so its very difficult to come up with an explanation of what it is. I think a lot of bloggers have this problem, you have so many different ideas but you end up sticking to a particular ‘theme’ because for whatever reason we think a niche blog is likely to be a better read. I was kind of falling in to that trap when I noticed that I had done back to back  skin care posts, so I made a mental note to keep the blog beauty lite for a couple of weeks. But why? Why was I questioning the content I’m putting up if that’s what I felt like writing about? I then remembered why I started writing this blog, I wanted a place to put some of my thoughts into words and mainly because its fun and relaxing. I was stressing out about the content because it was becoming harder and harder to define the blog, and I was essentially trying to reign in my ideas. In a typical day my thoughts can jump erratically from thinking about my lectures to anguish over Dobbys death, and everything else between. If this blog is a reflection of my thoughts, then by definition it should be impossible to define.

ngala 3 2014

This brought me to the greater realisation that we as humans spend too much time and effort trying to define ourselves not accepting the impossibility and futility of that feat. This can manifest in different ways, some people suppress their passions or interests in lieu of ‘fitting in’ and ‘appearing normal’; and then they are those who spend years trying to emulate something they are not for the exact same reasons. I’ve had to have this conversation with myself a lot, and I know it sounds cliché but the sooner people accept who they are, the happier and simpler their lives will become. Comparison is death to individuality and self-acceptance, we need to realise that we are all different and its bloody okay. We spend so much time trying to be like others, not knowing half of whats going on in there heads, we don’t know their journey, their struggles or how much work they put in to become who they are. We blindly follow people, and take their word as gospel without pausing to consider if that persona is real or artifice.
ngala 2 2014

There was a day I actually became upset after observing a really bright and bubbly person who was a joy to be around (you know those people who are just buzzing with energy and excitement). The reason I became upset was because I was stressing about not being able to convey my feelings to other people as a result of my resting stank face. So to recap, I was happy and then I saw a person who expressed their happiness in a different manner to mine, which in turn made me sad, because my happiness looked different to theirs. I know, I’m an idiot… but this happened because I just wasn’t comfortable with myself, and hadn’t accepted who I was. ngala 3

Most people spend the majority of their teenage years conforming to whatever standard their held against, the pretty one, the smart one, the edgy one, the girly girl etc. we build our public personas like Legos, copying from those considered the most accepted. Now everyone tells you that as you grow older, you ‘find yourself’ and embrace who you are…wellllll I have news for you adults. Congratulations, you’ve just graduated to a more sophisticated form of conformity, it’s still high school but now the popular kids read the Alchemist and eat acai bowls.IMG_4422

People avoid seeking help for depression because it looks bad! That speaks volumes about our societies, its okay to feel bad but as long as no one knows about it you’ve got your sh*t together girl. How does that even make sense? And the funny thing is we still tout the same advice to younger people and to each other, “love yourself” we say, but which selves? Are we loving our true selves or our Lego selves? So that is my new mantra, there’s so much advice going around but I like to keep it simple: love your true self. Now comes the difficult part, the new horizon, actually practising what I’m preaching. I know it won’t be easy because it seems we’re hardwired this way, but I the trick is to constantly remind yourself. Its normal and human to second guess ourselves, it’s a very helpful tool that can point out mistakes, or highlight when we’re wrong about something; but having a mantra to fall back on helps you recognize when you’re being irrational and self-destructive. So remember, love your true self. And this means embracing all the good and the bad, for example, I know I’m a lazy person and it can hold me back from the things I want. So instead of comparing myself to others, and worrying about how much work/studying/exercising they do, now I just focus on making sure I’m doing more today than I did yesterday. I’m still comparing but its with someone I know inside and out, myself ( I know, that’s cringey but its true). You should try it too, you don’t have to wait till tomorrow or the New Year, just start now. Stop comparing, love your true self and by my calculations you should be happier in 3, 2, 1….

P.S. My apologies to Paulo Coelho, the Alchemist is a brilliant book
P.P.S Also sorry to Acai lovers, and I’d also like to return all this cheese I used to write this post.

beach 2014